The Green Lantern is basically The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Parts 1 and 2)

GL: Wear a green ring, receive powers

SotTP(1/2): Wear pants, receive “powers”

GL: Blake Lively’s nude photos leaked before premiere 

SotTP(1/2): Blake Lively loses her virginity to some kind of camp counselor or something?

GL: Adapted from a written work

SotTP(1/2): Adapted from a written work

GL: A lot of it is set in a green world

SotTP(1/2): A lot of it is set in Greence

GL: Looks like a videogame

SoTP(1/2): Doesn’t look like a videogame, but if it were a videogame, I’d probably play it. (This is coming from someone who doesn’t even play videogames.) You could be America Ferrera as she plays tennis with Bradley Whitford! And there could be a level where you have to jump onto Kostas’ fishing boat? Right? That could be a level? Or when Tibby has a pregnancy scare? Is this how videogames work?

GREEN LANTERN / RYAN REYNOLDS PERFORMANCE ART IDEA

So here’s the plan:

  • I buy a ticket to a midnight screening of The Green Lantern on Friday morning (Thursday night. Whatever you want to call it.)
  • I buy every season of Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place/Two Guys and a Girl tonight
  • I take off work Wednesday and Thursday to watch every episode of Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place/Two Guys and a Girl, making note of my favorite scenes/jokes/moments of physical comedy
  • I return to the noted scenes and memorize 90 minutes of them
  • I walk to the front of the theatre when The Green Lantern begins
  • I perform 90 minutes of scenes from Two Guys, a Girl, and a PIzza Place/Two Guys and a Girl as The Green Lantern plays (think Jada’s death scene in Scream 2)

(No one else will be at the midnight screening of The Green Lantern so this performance won’t be disruptive.)