No but honestly one of the rap lyrics in “Jump” (off Rihanna’s ‘Unapologetic’) mentions “SEO costs.”
Don’t we need to talk about that?
The only truth that matters.
This weekend I was with Dan and Christine and we were discussing how irritating and embarrassing it is to receive more than one set of chopsticks with your Chinese takeout when you ordered it all for yourself and then we made jokes about how the only person who would need more than one set of chopsticks is Vishnu because he’d be eating with three hands and doing various other tasks with the other hands and this is how I become temporarily obsessed with things and why my current iPhone background is Vishnu and why people keep sending me pictures of Vishnu and here’s Rihanna with multiple arms in the new Coldplay video.
I’m too scared to click.
Rihanna is like the little sister I never had.
Sure, growing up she was always so much cooler than I was – more friends, more parties, better hair, etc. - but there was something charming about her rebellion. I envied her. Now that we’re both adults, however, her self-destructive behavior is no longer cute - it’s dangerous. From time to time (and especially lately) I find myself screaming, ”WHAT ARE YOU THINKING,” to my television and computer, but she continues making poor decisions - often sartorial, mostly Chris Brownial.
Now that Brown’s appearance on her upcoming track has (nearly) been confirmed, I’m ready to kick her out of my life forever. Maybe she’ll leave Chris and end up living with our grandmother in Florida. Maybe she’ll get a job at the local hospital taking care of dying patients. She may even learn a thing or two about responsibility - or even start a business. I honestly wish her the best.
Even though she drives me absolutely bonkers, she’s my sister and we share a shoe size. My love and support will always remain because I carry her heart in my heart and oh my god this just turned into In Her Shoes.