bobby finger

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BEST ZIP UP EVER

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It’s so early. It’s only September. But I had to.

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It’s in my calendar. Let the party planning begin.

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Hate Actually | The Hairpin

I wrote a glorified listicle about Love Actually in which each of the nine subplots is examined. By “examined” I mean BULLET POINTS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS.

With its cast of international superstars, 135-minute running time, nine interconnecting subplots, and ostentatious tagline “The Ultimate Romantic Comedy,” Richard Curtis’ Love Actually seems to have made its way into the pantheon of Christmas classics by sheer force alone. It’s a glossy, big-budget film with borderline-detestable examinations of love and romance containing perhaps three genuine moments that seem to be of our own universe, but Love Actually is one terrible Christmas movie that has strong-armed its way into the hearts of millions (including my own) despite being absolutely terrible. And this is why.

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Kid getting through security to kiss his idiot American girlfriend: tremendously difficult.

Crazy person bolting through a barricade to jump on the Prime Minister: ain’t no thang!

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We found love in a poorly secured airport place.

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Just decided that I’ll never have kids because I’ll never be Liam Neeson and my kid will never be that one.

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You know that scene in “Romy and Michelle” when they’re watching “Pretty Woman” ironically and Romy throws Michelle major shade for giving a heartfelt laugh when Larry Miller finally lets Julia Roberts shop?

Something similar happens when I find myself giggling alone in a hotel room at Colin Firth’s niece saying, “I hate Uncle Jamie!” but instead of throwing myself major shade, I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and punch my chest like Marky Mark did in “Fear”.

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Best Dramatic Zip Up Of A Pullover Set To The Chorus Of Dido’s “Here With Me” in film history!

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UGH I FORGOT ABOUT THESE TWO. Yeah, I’m sure he’s been single for 2.5 years and I’m sure she’s incapable of ignoring just ONE phone call from her sick brother. I hate this movie I love this movie I hate this movie I love this movie I hate this movie I love this movie I hate this movie I love this movie I hate this movie I love this movie I hate this movie I love this movie.

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If my mother called me right now to say she’s leaving my father because he’s been having an affair with a coworker, I’d be less devastated than I am every single time I watch this scene.

I’ve looked at infidelity from Both Sides Now and it’s always worse when it happens to Emma Thompson.

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Hate Actually | The Hairpin

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