Technically Lindsey’s birthday was Saturday and Christine’s birthday is today but they’re both stupid buttholes so it’s fine.
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Technically Lindsey’s birthday was Saturday and Christine’s birthday is today but they’re both stupid buttholes so it’s fine.

2012
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2012

Here’s a GIF of Christine doing an impression of literally all of us.
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Here’s a GIF of Christine doing an impression of literally all of us.

That’s an incongruous metaphor. He’s caught beneath a landslide but also in a champagne supernova in the sky?
Christine
I was looking through my notebook and found about 10 pages of hangman games I played with Christine on the train a few months ago after Steven’s birthday celebration. I don’t remember what “it was not our butts” meant (and I don’t know why Christine never quite figured out how to draw a gallows), but I remember sitting together on those horrible, knee-destroying two-seaters that jut out into the aisle of the older trains and giggling like a maniac for however many stops it took us to get to where we were going.
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I was looking through my notebook and found about 10 pages of hangman games I played with Christine on the train a few months ago after Steven’s birthday celebration. I don’t remember what “it was not our butts” meant (and I don’t know why Christine never quite figured out how to draw a gallows), but I remember sitting together on those horrible, knee-destroying two-seaters that jut out into the aisle of the older trains and giggling like a maniac for however many stops it took us to get to where we were going.

Commercials before Sparkle

  • Christine: Who is that?
  • Bobby: Victoria Justice.
  • Christine: Who is she? Why is her last name pretend?
Just checking out the menu for Guy Fieri’s new restaurant.
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Just checking out the menu for Guy Fieri’s new restaurant.

Christine was there.
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Christine was there.

I set this as Christine’s photo on my phone months and months ago but forgot about it because honestly how often do people talk to each other on the phone anymore when there’s texting so when I heard a ring last night and looked down and saw this face staring back I laughed and laughed and screencapped it and answered and heard Christine on the other end saying breathlessly “Hey want to come to Williamsburg to watch Mari get a tattoo of chill dog on her ass?”
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I set this as Christine’s photo on my phone months and months ago but forgot about it because honestly how often do people talk to each other on the phone anymore when there’s texting so when I heard a ring last night and looked down and saw this face staring back I laughed and laughed and screencapped it and answered and heard Christine on the other end saying breathlessly “Hey want to come to Williamsburg to watch Mari get a tattoo of chill dog on her ass?”

GIF’d Xtine.
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GIF’d Xtine.

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This weekend I was with Dan and Christine and we were discussing how irritating and embarrassing it is to receive more than one set of chopsticks with your Chinese takeout when you ordered it all for yourself and then we made jokes about how the only person who would need more than one set of chopsticks is Vishnu because he’d be eating with three hands and doing various other tasks with the other hands and this is how I become temporarily obsessed with things and why my current iPhone background is Vishnu and why people keep sending me pictures of Vishnu and here’s Rihanna with multiple arms in the new Coldplay video.
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This weekend I was with Dan and Christine and we were discussing how irritating and embarrassing it is to receive more than one set of chopsticks with your Chinese takeout when you ordered it all for yourself and then we made jokes about how the only person who would need more than one set of chopsticks is Vishnu because he’d be eating with three hands and doing various other tasks with the other hands and this is how I become temporarily obsessed with things and why my current iPhone background is Vishnu and why people keep sending me pictures of Vishnu and here’s Rihanna with multiple arms in the new Coldplay video.

psychosexualpuppetrythriller

  • Bobby: I downloaded Martha Marcy May Marlene and Muppets for my bus to Boston tomorrow.
  • Christine: I thought that was all one title.