Lately I’ve been measuring distance in the number of times I can listen to “Countdown”
- Home to Work - 8 Countdowns
- Work to Chipotle - 1 Countdown
Basically what I’ve learned is that life is too short because it will never been enough Countdowns.
How to deal with riding the train while wearing a white shirt covered in red wine:
- Board the train.
- Don’t make eye contact with anyone, not even the anchors on the Pix 11 posters.
- Sit and cover the lower half of your shirt with your messenger bag in a way that feels natural.
- Realize that it doesn’t look natural.
- Get more uncomfortable.
- Pull out your Economist because it will make you look informed, confident, and incapable of spilling wine all over yourself while telling a story about how terrified you are of Lasik.
- Double dip recession? Depressing. Put that up.
- Pull out your book because maybe if you hold it just right, the cover will obscure the enormous stain on your shoulder.
- Notice that the cover of your book somehow has an enormous hole in it.
- Stare at the hole and wonder how it got there.
- Remember shoving a wet umbrella inside your bag the previous afternoon. The spikes of the umbrella coupled with water must have somehow bore a small hole through it. Weird. OK, by the way, now you look crazy.
- Put the book back.
- Sigh. Look around.
- Realize that no one cares about you or your stain. In fact, there’s a good chance no one on this train has even noticed it.
- Put on your headphones and listen to 4.
- Get the idea for a list while listening to “Countdown”
My baby is a 10
We dressin’ to the 9
He pick me up, we 8
Make me feel so lucky 7
He kiss me in his 6
We be makin’ love in 5
Still the one I do this 4
I’m tryna make a 3 from the 2
Still the 1
If I knew how to cross-stitch, you don’t even KNOW. This is how children of the future will learn to count.