Things You Do In The Morning That I Will Not Tolerate

  1. Look at me.
  2. Speak to me.
  3. Cut in front of me in the line to get on the bus.
  4. Squeeze by me on the bus or train without saying “Excuse me”.
  5. Point out the glaring contradiction of #2 and #4.
  6. Order a scooped bagel.
  7. Listen to your music loudly.
  8. Listen to Lana Del Rey softly.
  9. Read your enormous hardcover book without taking the jacket off.
  10. Read over my shoulder.
  11. Sit next to me on the train when there are plenty of wide open spaces right over there. See? Look over there. There are tons.
  12. Approach the front of the coffee line with a list.
  13. Approach the front of the coffee line without putting down your phone.
  14. Approach the front of the coffee line without knowing what you want.
  15. Approach the front of the coffee line and say, “How are your lattés?” 
  16. Put an insufficient amount of ice in my iced coffee.
  17. Be lactose.
  18. Use straws of the poorest quality.
  19. Walk slowly.
  20. Drive a car.
  21. Be a tour bus. 
  22. Read while walking.
  23. Stand on the left side of the escalator.
  24. Run on the elevator as the doors are closing and press a floor below mine.
  25. Roll your eyes when I run on the elevator as the doors are closing and press a floor below yours.
  26. Don’t offer me one of your donuts.
  27. Offer me one of your donuts.
  28. Begin a story with, “Let me tell you about my night.”
  29. Complain.

185 Notes/ Hide

  1. artdalliance reblogged this from bobbyfinger and added:
    Look at me. Speak to me. Cut in front of me in the line to get on the bus. Squeeze by me on the bus or train without...
  2. decrystalcastle reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  3. sanjay-z reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  4. memorialslandz reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  5. cruelladevillain reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  6. agnesbsquare reblogged this from joshfjelstad
  7. withlovemma reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  8. acatslife1993 reblogged this from jcrepe
  9. jcrepe reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  10. shaheenn reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  11. adenofthieves reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  12. thepo reblogged this from alyssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and added:
    What the fuck is a scooped out bagel?
  13. alyssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa reblogged this from haygirlhay and added:
    A little part of me dies everytime I hear the words, “can I get a...scooped out?” You...
  14. edgeofdecember reblogged this from bobbyfinger
  15. continuedreaming reblogged this from champagne-and-icecream and added:
    yup.
  16. magdalina reblogged this from jennabee and added:
    what in the absolute hell is a scooped bagel????