in an effort to decide what my ideal 4-program block would be.

But first, a disclaimer:

I never liked Boy Meets World, so that’s out. Sorry, but Cory and Shawn were irritating and wasn’t it strange that a principal would have contact with his students outside of school? I know they were neighbors, but Feeny’s backyard advice always seemed fairly unethical. If you can’t give casual advice to every student, you shouldn’t give it to anyone - especially a Savage brother. Consciously or not, it probably leads to favoritism, and the Savages have enough helpful narration in their lives already.

OK here we go.

Block 1:

A nice way to get primed for two hours of brain-melting, Full House offers the most extreme examples of every TGIF device. These are the most melodramatic musical cues since Douglas Sirk, the most mind-numbing laugh track (probably) ever, and the most unbelievable characters this side of the Na’vi.  

Block 2:

Family Matters. Though I hate Steve Urkel (he’s like the Jar Jar Binks of the TGIF universe, and makes much of Family Matters a chore to watch), the Winslows are probably the most likable family in this block. I dare you to tell me you’d rather hang out with the Tanners. You probably can’t even say it as a joke. Try it. Seriously. Try it pretend you don’t hate yourself.

Block 3:

Step By Step. Much like a lot of people grow up wishing they had a twin, I’m sure it was common to wish you lived in a huge house with a huge family. There would always be someone to hang out with, a fridge STOCKED with snacks (the Finger house was soda-free), some kooky yet harmless cousin out back to secretly teach you how to drive, and multiple staircases. You guys have no idea how badly I wanted multiple staircases growing up. Every show I’ve mentioned so far had at least two staircases and it made me resent my parents and their single-staircase home decisions so so so much. Not really. Kind of. Sort of. Anyway, Step by Step took the ‘stuffed house’ TGIF trope to unheard of levels, and for that it deserves its spot in my block. JK, the real reason I put it on this list is because I love that part in the theme song when the female voice in the background shouts “DAYYY BY DAYYYY!!!!”

Block 4:

The series finale of Dinosaurs. Not any other episode, just the series finale every single week. Watching them prepare themselves for death as the ice age begins is such a dark, too-real way of jolting you back into reality after 90 minutes of stuffed-house-studio-audience insanity.

OK I’m done bye.