Here’s A Story About Alanis Morissette and Thin Walls
When Spotify launched in the US, one of the first albums I listened to was “Jagged Little Pill”. Something reminded me of it, I guess, and I thought It’s been years since I’ve listened to this all the way through – so why not?
From the moment “All I Really Want” began, I was somewhere else. Specifically, I was in the house I grew up in. More specifically, I was in my bedroom – the one between my sister’s and brother’s. My solid blue comforter on the bed. Alvin, the stuffed rabbit, on top of it. I was too old to clutch him at night by then, but I clutched him at night anyway. There was my old room. All because of “All I Really Want.”
The specificity of my memory – of my transportation back to that bedroom I hadn’t slept in since 1998 – was making me lose my mind. Why did the opening bars of the first track of an Alanis Morissette album take me there? I mean, I’d all but forgotten “All I Really Want” until it began playing on Spotify. It wasn’t an important song. When I snuck the album out of my sister’s room, I’d usually just listen to “Hand In My Pocket” and put it back. “Hand In My Pocket” was my song, not “All I Really Want”. I put all of this into a long email to my sister. Her response was short. Simple. Dismissive.
"Yeah. That’s pretty weird. No idea."
She called me a few days later. “I think I figured out your ‘All I Really Want’ problem,” she said. Then, between laughs, “My stereo had an alarm clock in it. The first few seconds of an album would play, then I’d shut it off. I woke up to ‘Jagged Little Pill’ for the entirety of 1996. Pretty sure that means you did, too.”
Why can’t I just sit down for a coffee in New York
and not hear the word “curate” on one side of me and “incubator” on the other
She should just be herself. Though I guess the trouble is, the more of these things you do, and Jennifer Lawrence does so very many interviews, you probably start to forget what that means. Herself. What is your real self, when so much of your life is the same anecdotes over and over again, answers to the same questions, an unending stream of compliments that demand modesty, or self-effacement. I’m sure Jennifer Lawrence knows her real self when she’s, I dunno, on the toilet or something, but herself as it relates to the public world, I wonder if that makes much sense to her anymore. Which is weird, and sad.
Ten Things I’m Currently Looking Forward To
- Vanity Fair’s Gwyneth Paltrow Exposé
- The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 2
- The #ShupakStelter Wedding
- Lana Del Rey’s Next Album
- The Best Man 3
- The Weekend
- Tomorrow’s Lunch
- Rihanna’s Next Album
- The 2014 Oscars
Thank you. The Gummers often confuse me. Change/GIF made.
Jennifer Lawrence, a Gchat
- Richard: do we believe her
- Me: i don't know
- she's good at this
- but i don't know