May 2012
1 tag
enable group texting please. everyone. enable it.
if you don’t, your texts will be misread and bad things will happen. people will be cruel kind of mean (jokingly so, but still mean) to you and you’ll be so embarrassed that you can’t even blog about it for comedy’s sake.
May 1st
9 notes
April 2012
2 tags
Apr 30th
18 notes
1 tag
After seeing Katy Perry on the cover of a magazine
Christine: I don't like her blonde.
Bobby: Neither do I. You know, I actually like her blue.
Christine: Oh, me too. Blue and purple.
Apr 30th
7 notes
Apr 30th
75 notes
1 tag
Apr 30th
6 notes
2 tags
Apr 30th
22 notes
1 tag
Apr 30th
34 notes
Apr 30th
67 notes
1 tag
Apr 30th
12 notes
2 tags
Apr 29th
58 notes
3 tags
Apr 29th
20 notes
Apr 29th
47 notes
5 tags
Apr 29th
39 notes
2 tags
Apr 29th
47 notes
3 tags
Apr 29th
8 notes
3 tags
“You know what I fucking hate? People who order guacamole and don’t fucking...”
– Rachel, staring angrily at the table next to us
Apr 29th
41 notes
Apr 29th
57 notes
4 tags
Apr 29th
13 notes
2 tags
Apr 27th
19 notes
3 tags
“for all the times u clicked on me for every blob that you gave a...”
– i just wrote a song called ‘because you LOL’d me” bye
Apr 27th
25 notes
1 tag
Apr 27th
17 notes
7 tags
Apr 27th
20 notes
Bobby: GOING TO THE TOP OF MY BUILDING TO WATCH THE SHUTTLE.
Daniel: Lucky duck. Use instagram so that I understand the gravitas. Also be sure to tumbl about it - otherwise people might not know!
Apr 27th
13 notes
3 tags
ListenAll right, everyone. Chill.
Apr 26th
8 notes
3 tags
Apr 26th
13 notes
Apr 26th
14 notes
3 tags
Apr 26th
26 notes
3 tags
ListenAnd here’s a song by White Denim that will...
Apr 26th
4 notes
1 tag
I woke up and thought, "Today I will wear my white...
And then I went to the work cafeteria where someone else thought, “Today I will squeeze this hot sauce dispenser so violently that it gets all over the white denim jeans of surrounding people.” “Sorry,” she said.
Apr 26th
28 notes
ListenFavorite song of the year so far. Unrivaled....
Apr 26th
21 notes
1 tag
Apr 26th
108 notes
Bobby: Left Eye died 10 years ago today.
Lauren: Poor thing. Put too much shit in her bags.
Bobby: What? That was Aaliyah. (pause) And that's not even what happened.
Apr 26th
37 notes
1 tag
Apr 26th
36 notes
3 tags
Apr 26th
26 notes
5 tags
Apr 26th
108 notes
4 tags
Apr 25th
10 notes
2 tags
Yesterday evening I was walking down 1st Ave and...
1.) he was tall - at least 6’4”“ 2.) his body had less than no fat 3.) he wore a suit that was probably worth more than my entire wardrobe 4.) he was not wearing a shirt with that suit, just the pants and jacket and pocket square and scarf I scowled at this man! I literally scowled at him. Some kind of combination side eye/lip curl/sigh/grunt/head turn that probably made me...
Apr 25th
52 notes
Apr 24th
3,906 notes
Apr 24th
17 notes
1 tag
Apr 24th
49 notes
ListenListen
Apr 24th
3 notes
Apr 24th
35 notes
1 tag
Apr 24th
26 notes
Apr 24th
14 notes
Apr 24th
22 notes
3 tags
Apr 24th
15 notes
3 tags
Veep: Hey Mike, what would you say were the two biggest campaign mistakes that we made?
Mike: You looked tired a lot and the hat.
Apr 24th
19 notes
2 tags
“Did you check the wikipedia? Did they change her weight again? Someone keeps...”
– Veep is killing me
Apr 24th
15 notes
Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s LEGO Set for Release... →
please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna please star rihanna...
Apr 24th
19 notes
1 tag
Apr 24th
7 notes