September 2011
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Crack Brownies | The Awl →
Have you ever wondered what your friends look and sound like when they orgasm? Because fair warning: you’ll find out, and you should know that before you trot these babies out because it’s actually a really disturbing thing to know. (The silent ones freak me out the most.)
I have had Jolie’s Crack Brownies and this all happened exactly as she described it and it was a little embarrassing...
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Oh, that wave WASN'T meant for me?
Oh, that wave WASN’T meant for me?
“How many hookers do we think Adam Levine has murdered in his basement torture...”
– Maroon 5 Guy And Christina Aguilera Score No. 1 Hit By Cutting Out A Small But Important Part Of Man’s Heart And Slowly Devouring It Before His Very Eyes | The Awl
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HORRIBLE MEMORIES
That one day in middle school when we were learning about how surnames were often an indicator of one’s occupation.
Teacher - “For instance, *classmate’s* last name is Sexton. His family may have worked in a church. *Classmate’s* last name is Smith. Someone in his family may have been a blacksmith.”
Some douche kid, probably ketchup kid - “Hahahaha what did...
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CONTAGION: TWAINING
me: this monica song is FRESH
Tyler: sorry, i'm twaining
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Happy Jew Year
growltiger:
I’m not religious because i don’t believe in the god thing, but Rosh HaShana is always near or on my birthday so I guess I mark it as the beginning of year. And so: things I want for 5772!
* Legalize same-sex marriage everywhere!
* Let’s not start any new wars!
* Everyone should get jobs!
* There shouldn’t be an economic collapse!
* No one I love should get sick or die!
*...
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“The feather is stored in a book titled Curious George, Forrest’s favorite...”
– Forrest Gump - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
“1. Greenpoint”
– The Brooklyn Neighborhood Power Rankings | The L Magazine
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“Krackel originally sold as an individual candy bar product, and is now only...”
– The saddest sentence on Wikipedia
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The Kindle Fire will take my movie tie-in...
I won’t fill it with books - just film adaptations of books.
“What’s on your Kindle Fire?” ”Something Borrowed, The Help, Twilight, the trailer for The Hunger Games, Lord of the Rings, Girl, Interrupted, and The Joy Luck Club.”
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I made a Spotify playlist called "It's TUESDAY!"... →
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“This should be open. It’s civil rights. This is the nineties.”
– Watching “Bridesmaids” and I have a new favorite line.
oh god, give me a reason. i'm down on bended...
Lindsey: i went to see an apt today
and i left my comp on but forgot to turn off spotify
and i was listening to starred tracks
and i came back
and these two interns that are squatting in my office were like
WAS THAT SPANISH BOYS II MEN
...
i was like
yeah
what's it TO YA
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iOS 5 apparently allows custom SMS tones. I'm...
“Darkchild” - Toni Braxton (The beginning “He Wasn’t Man Enough”)
“Darkchild” - Beyonce (The beginning of “Say My Name”)
“…Flames…” - Madeline Kahn (Clue)
“Boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeyeeeeee” - Beyonce (The beginning of “Countdown”)
“It’s on backwards!” - That lady (Spaceballs)
“Gimme five dollars.” - Adrienne Shelley (Trust)
“Wha happan?” - Fred Willard (A Mighty Wind)
“Muck muck muck...
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Colin: omg did you see the bieber news?
Lindsey: ...
WHAT
me: nooooo
Colin: about how he rented the staples center to do a private screening of titanic for him and selena?
me: WHAT
Lindsey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Colin: uh, yeah
Lindsey: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
me: WHAT
Lindsey: PROOF
me: WHAT
Lindsey: GIMME PROOF
Colin: like, that JUST happened
Lindsey: GIMME
WHERE
GIMME
WHAT
me: WHAT
WHAT
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“bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum...”
– Drive
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